haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
