Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
