Cold hands, warm shart.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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