And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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