I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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