This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
