I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
