I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize