You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
