please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
