it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
