About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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