she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
