Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't deserve a penis
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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