dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Church boner. Awkwardddd
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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