i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
