i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize