my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
