you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
