Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
