I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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