After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
