sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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