Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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