Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
