My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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