I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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