I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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