Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
