These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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