Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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