Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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