saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
