i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
