no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
