I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
