Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
