Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
