I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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