Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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