Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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