i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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