I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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