he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just high enough for therapy.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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