There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
