Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
