Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
