I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
