If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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