Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
