So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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