my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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