My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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