I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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