So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize