Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
