My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
