then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My bed smells like the plague
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
