how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
