im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
