he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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