I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
