is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
