How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
