Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she told me i tasted like america
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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